5am Confused!

Wish my life wasn't so complicated right now. Wish I could go 

back to being a little kid when I had no worries in the world... Wants 

to follow my heart, believe that I will follow through, but hears my head 

say I've said these things before and that's how we end up this way!? says 

if you cant be with that person you like ,why do we get feelings for them... 

My mind and my heart seems to have swapped places and now I don't 

know which one to listen too ...Ah I need a break!

"They say life has to get worse before it gets better...but 
I'm starting to wonder if it will ever get better."

Now is standing at the cross roads, actually not just doesn't 
know which path to chose. And I kept thinks that once you think
that everything seems to be going right, it ends up going wrong and
our left confused and want to get it right again, walking away is hard
...but staying is hard too ...watching someone you care about falling
apart is hard...but leaving them to do it all alone is hard too..

"Did you ever sit and wonder to yourself, 
"What the hell just went wrong here?"

  
Got so many things going on in my mind right now,
don't know where to start. how i wish i could ctrl+alt+del
things that aren't important :) ...when I have a straight face people
think I am sad but when I've a smile they think I am up to something...
Maybe sometimes the things you have to do, are the things you might
regret, but the things you might regret, are the things you never did.

"I've so many questions in his life right now.. 
I wonder if Google would help" :P 

"Why assume when you can ask?"

Song by Ryan Adams - Now That You're Gone

Battle of my life...

For these years I've been thru my life in worst of many a than

good thing happen for me, waiting and wonder when I finally get the 

real answer for all my question, doubt or worries ..and I guess I've to 

wait more longer then I thought to know everything for every single 

pain that can effect to others person who close to me, the person

that I care the most...

Why you have to carry this pain with me? Should be me 

alone, is my mess. Because at this point my life is getting serious 

with everything and its not the kinda life you can simply takes like 

a game cause when things turn bad. Game Over! The best is part 

someone get hurts and losing everything that what you achieved 

then lost your god damn mind in blink of eyes...

Some people don't understand the way I am, some are hurt 

by the way I talk, but what I can do if that's the real me, I am 

not perfect, but definitely not fake! And sometimes, you gotta run 

away to see who runs after you. Sometimes, you gotta talk quieter 

to see who's listening. Sometimes you make a mistake to see who 

will fix it...

Well no one gonna fix it, accepts for your own to do it and 

make sure is done. I once think... If you could go back to the past, 

would you change the things you did wrong even tho the past has 

made you who you are today? In life there's moments you are 

searching to talk or be with someone and there's moment 

you want to be alone...

Conquering trust sometimes takes a while, years, even 

a lifetime. Losing it for good, just take a second. I don't know were 

I stand in your life, but now I do, or how you feel towards me all I 

know is I love you more than you could ever imagine...

Live, Life & Love Chapter #5

"Live is like an open sea, only you and the rudder to guide you 

heading away of awesomeness"

Being alone is living a life like a "vampire", for long it takes 

you until you die, and hope it just end ...but life doesn't end even 

you die and it will continue and for that reason no one know about it. 

It's what you have learn things what is around you for good or for worst 

only you make the choice, when it's the right time for you to make one,

because its your own god damn life, if you still need guide for that well i 

guess you might get lost in the way you heading, trust me. No one 

know you better then yourself, just need a full confidence.

"I just lost you but found myself..."

Her: Do I need to say it for you to know that I like you ?

Me: Yes... 

Her: Do I ?

Me: Yes, you do... 

Her: Do I need to be the man to make the fist move ?

Me: Nope i didn't ask you too... if you tell me in the 1st place :)

Her: Don't you noticed how I like you very much ?

Me: Nope?!! Hello... I'm not a BOMOH :P

Her: Even I seem to not talking to you or what so ever.

Me: Yeah, that's the mistake not a problem...

Her: But in my heart there's only you.

Me: How the hell i know? :O

Her: Damn you for giving up to fast.

Me: Give up?! who says?!

Her: That was too fast.

Me: No its over yet...

Her: You were asking me what are we now with that kind of attitude.

Me: I don't have an attitude problem! I have an attitude that you have a problem with. 
Therefore I just have an attitude!

Her: Don't think with that kind of attitude would made me think you are serious.

Me: I also can't get you out of my mind, but who said I'm trying to?!!

Her: Were you ever being serious ? 
Me: [sigh] I'm serious...

Her: You have made me like you so damn much and could not open my heart to anyone but 
only to you.

Me: You wanna know something?! They say love is to risk of not being loved in return but 
sometimes love is letting go of someone who loves us less.

Her: That give up attitude made me feel so miserable.

Me: Miserable?!

Her: I want you for God sake !

Me:  Awesome! lets get to it, shall we?!

Her: If I were a boy, you would be mine in no time.

Me: Well... I'm not like others boys :]

Her: Yes. I know.

Me: [sigh...]

Her: You are not the kind of person would go all out if the girl seems not interested.

Me: Sometimes when you are really sincere with some people. They do not believe it. 
They trick you in return. Win what's in hand. Then lose you forever.

Her: But can't you see ?

Me: Yeah! I've see every things... 

Her: We were texting till morning.

Me: Huh?! did we?! er mm.. well we don't do that either...

Her: I reply to your text as fast as I can.

Me: I don't have a type when it comes to women. In fact, my choices  are completely universal. 
Some say I don't know what I want. I say I like to keep things interesting.

Her: I did say I like you too but you never seems to pop the question.

Me: They say silence is golden.. but in this case the silence is hurting!

Her: But then you just assumed I am not interested.

Me: Here goes again... I only want to be with you twice...now, and forever.

Her: That's too harsh man !

Me: Sometimes a LIE can save someones life and a TRUTH can break someones heart!

Her: Harsh !

Me: That so ! okay :]

Her: What more proves do you want ?

Me: Be brave. Take risks. Nothing substitutes experience.. 

Her: I can't talk to you because you made my heart beat so fast.

Me: (speechless) in a good way of speechless.. 

Her: I can't look into your eyes because you made me blush like crazy.

Me: (speechless) in a good way of speechless.. 

Her: You made me crazy.

Me: Did you know what you make me?!

Her: Too crazy.

Me: [sigh...]

Her: Even there a guy who like me too but all I think of is you.

Me: Why flirt if you're capable of loving?

Her: Every morning expecting to receive your text.
Me: My kinda morning ..I love when I wake up and I look at you, hair messy, no make-up,  
then I tell you, you're beautiful & that why I love you. Did you know?! Of cause not, 
we never talk about anything... [sigh]

Her: Each time I went out, I thought of meeting you.

Me: I love hang out with you too.

Her: Each time I online the Facebook, I just hope there's you.

Me: I always there but you the one who hiding... too bad.

Her: Commenting at my status or do the wall to wall thing.

Me: I would say: I'm bored and you bored too, you probably sitting there with your face to 
the computer and reading my pointless status... yea that's how bored you are!

Her: I did stalk your wall just to know how are you doing.

Me: Well ...I'm glad you did and I like it :)

Her: Stupid me to think you would work hard to get me !

Me: Knowing what you need to do isn't the hardest part of the equation. The hardest part,
is doing what you know needs to be done.

Her: Thanks a lot. 

Me: No.. Thanks you is mine. I've got so many good memories from you to last me a
lifetime. Thank you so much for being part of my life!

Her: Have a great life !

Me: Well, I just lost you, but I found myself.. You too :)