I miss her...

Today i feel i been lost away from the one i truly care that's near 
me the most but why? What i do to be like this? been busy living myself for 
cost of nothing...? and hate myself for being like what i am now even do I'm 
successful on everything i done to achieve, every times I'm at the studio i 
could see her standby my side or laying down on the floor, ya! I'm taking 
about my dog :D what else it could be?! LOL 

And i wish i could be pay more attention on her like we use to be, 
it's sad for me seeing her laying on my door step and i just can feels her 
sadness for the cost I am now, everything is fall apart and I'm gonna fix that 
but I'm still work on it, i wish i could make everything easier like in the that 
in the end has a happy ending means i already death but practically I'm not... 
So i guess the story have to go on till it found what is the end of this story...

The First Cut Is The Deepest

One Tree Hill.

There's a day that you realize you're not just a survivor, 

you're a warrior and you're stronger than anything life throws at you 
and if you look hard enough you'll see 1,000,000 people fighting for
one more day you have it so don't give it up for nothing or no one.

 "Me, I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember. 
Even if I don't write it down."

Don't losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But losing your 
reason for the journey is a fate more cruel... There's no shame in
being afraid. Hell we're all afraid what you gotta do is figure out
what you're afraid of because when you put a face on it you can
beat it.

 "That pain you feel: that's life. The confusion and fear: that's 

there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better 

and that is worth fighting for."

To dream a dream, is to awaken your inner self,

your wants, you desires, your passions, they are all given life.

It's important to ave somebody that makes you laugh, somebody 

you can trust, somebody that turns you on.. An it's really 

important that these people don't know each other.

"...Just think, you could be a big part of someone Else's life, 

and not even know it."

Have you ever had a dream that felt so real... 
When you woke up you didn't know what to believe. People
are going to label you, it's how you overcome those labels
that's what matters. Some might afraid of. Not being enough.
Not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough.
  

"if you're lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, 
the person you love decides to love you back ..."
 

If you look close enough to the world around you,
you might find someone like you. Someone trying to find their
way, someone trying to find their self. Sometimes it seem you
the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated,
unsatisfied, barely getting by.

But that feeling's a lie. And if just hold on, just find the
courage to face it for another day, someone or something will
find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help
sometimes. We need someone to remind us that it won't always
be this way.

"That someone is out there, and that someone will find you"

I'm only human...

Everybody wants to change the world but nobody wants to change

when the biggest liar in the world is "They Say..." You know what is 
funny? ..the name of the 3 great "Kings" that brought happiness piece 
and joy to our world are : Smo-King , Drin-king and Fuc-King...

 The picture is beautiful but chaos mean ..If you're lucky enough 
to be different, don't ever change. Be your own kind of beautiful... 
I'm not beautiful like you, I'm beautiful like me. Smile, You're BEAUTIFUL!
If I died tomorrow, I hope that what I have done in my life has mattered..
even if only to one person, even for only a moment in time. You worry you 
die, you don't worry you also die, so why the hell you worry?!

Love is like a drug, if you haven't tasted it you say you don't 
need it, if you did... you can't stay one minute without it, you are 
forever addicted to it and now I just in love with a beautiful wonderful 
person, who will always be by my side, never make me cry, never say 
goodbye, never tell a lie = me, myself and I! Did you ever wondered 
why the heart is placed on the left portion of the body? ..because it's 
not always right. 

Some says: 

"Any guy that hurts a girl is no man at all but i did, that's not 
what I do, that's what man always do and it's a nature to be 
human so live with it..."

A Quote

"You were born an original. Don't die a copy" - John Mason

I don't Know...

I will remember that person not as the one who broke my heart, but as the one 

who taught me, how to live with a broken heart and how to love and before you 

brake someones heart, make sure your not in it. Never fear to fall in love even it 

hurts, instead walk into it cautiously and you be should be safe.

Bottle it up...

I would says: "Love isn't just a game to be played, a story to be 

told, or a bond to be made. Love is life, passion, everything! without 

it there would be nothing."

Don't pick someone you can live with, pick someone you can't live 

without! Yeah I've heard that a lot... But before you met someone, you might 

wondered where is your place in life was and then it's the first time you held 

he/she in your arms, you knew exactly where you was meant to be, you never 

knew what true love was till you met he/she. He/She is your everything, your 

other half, your soul-mate. He/She complete your life and make it worth living.

How sweet is that...huh :)

For others might thinks ♥ is - Waking up in the early hours 

and messaging someone to tell them you love them, being someones FIRST may 

be great but being LAST is perfect... And he/she are strong when you're weak. 

He/She are the words when you can't speak. He/She never fail to see you 

through, that's the love he/she found in you.

 

But what you say when everything is lost?! What you've done to me will 

soon be a part of my memory. You may forget the exact words he/she have 

said, but you will never forget the way he/she made you feel. If in the first

place you try to avoid eye-contact with he/she because every time you look 

at he/she, you get pulled in deeper... that's the problem, you don't know

what's coming... so next time prepare your self for what you into...

The point is, I'd be lying if I say you entered my mind many times. Cause 

you only entered once, since then you never came out. I hates when your 

head says one thing, and your heart says something else... If I had to chose 

to save the world or save you, I'd save you because I wouldn't be able to 

live in a world without you in it.

Questioning You.

I really like you and I want to get to know you but i don't know how. 

Any suggestions???

Just...

Sometimes, you make me so mad I wanna throw you into the middle 

of oncoming traffic but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to 

save you, and has realized that if I starts to treat everyone in the same way 

they treat me, they would probably tell me that my behavior was unacceptable. 

I'd go to hell ... like you say, but ... see? I've got this restraining order ... the 

devils seems to be afraid that I'm going to take over when I get there!!! Get on 

your level? I'm sorry, I cant get that low, how about you come up to mine! 

Doesn't know how you can live with yourself with all the damage 

you've caused, Your lips keep moving but all I hear is- BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, 

BLAH... We don't loose friends . We just figure out who our real ones are, 

A true friend is honest and upfront even if the truth hurts but they'll not lie 

to you and you can expect no more than that. Sometimes to see the light, 

you must first go through a tunnel of darkness.

Is wondering when people will realize they can't hide things -- I know! 

What you see is what you get, so don't pull that sour face when I'm forthright, 

if you want something sugar coated, eat a doughnut that's the truth... I is 

thinking, it is better to be pissed, rather than pissed off! Well most definitely 

has an attitude of gratitude these days!! Thank you God for all my blessings!! 

I am NOTHING without you! ;D

I Don't Want To Be

A dream land...

Picture taken from Liz Grilli.

10,000 Roses - Death Overture.

Everyday I wake up to this,
Every day's the same
Its like a stream of hot gas,
A walk in the memory lane

We're walking so closely, your hand in mine,
My life is just perfect, everything's fine.
I was never perfect, not even close,
But somehow I had you, a beautiful rose.
I thought I had you, everything was great,
Your touch made me forget, all the things I hate.......

The dream was all gone......
The gentle wind starts raging, sky is blood red,
Your hand starts slipping away, my vision is dead.
What have I done.......

No more dreams, no more lies,
You are gone, my tears have dried.
U left me alone, in that silent night,
Now I'm a demon, under the moonlight.

My heart searches for clarity,
My hand is drenched with blood,
As I'm getting closer to you,
My breathings getting hard.

As the wolf, far away, screams with its agony
For all the times I've cried, your scream is like a symphony.

I'm sitting right beside you,
You're eternally sleeping
I'm embracing you closely,
With your blood my shirt's dripping.

Then....Like a blissful child....it starts raining.

Ten thousand roses.....lying beside you,
They are crying......For all the times i loved you.

By Nuren Iftekhar
http://www.facebook.com/blazingphoenix

Chapter #6 Just walk away...

If you say the words you should mean it. Never say "I love you" unless you 

really mean it. They may just seem like words to some people, but they 

mean a lot. Don't make promises to me or tell me things you don't mean, be 

honest and straightforward so I know where I stand... To love someone is 

madness, to be loved by someone is a gift, loving someone who loves you 

is a duty, butbeing loved by someone whom you love is life. I miss you a 

little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too often, and a 

little more each day. 

Sometimes, no matter how much you like someone, they're just not 

good for you and it's a hard thing faking a smile when your really falling 

apart inside. I wonders, why is it that the people that ask you to be honest

and open up to them are the very same people who won't do what they 

are asking of you. But if they do asking you I say, I keep thinking about how 

much she love me. but suddenly realize I shouldn't think, experiencing it 

will give me the best time ever. What hurts the most is you just left with 

out a word. 

You just walked away, you didn't even check to see if I'd be okay 

and the sadness thing is I'm the one who break your heart... I'm sorry.

Truth

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize 

for the truth."

 

Well you see, trust is like a vase, "Once it is broken... It will be difficult 

to pick the pieces and put them back again..." One thing is for sure, you can 

always tell someone is hiding something when they avoid answering your 

questions. Don't be afraid of what is unfamiliar to you, have the courage to 

seek further for the right answers, and is funny how those who claim to value 

honesty the most, seem to be the same ones run away fastest from the truth. 

 

Doesn't get why people ask for the truth but when you tell them they 

get mad!?? and ironic that the people who stab you in your back have a 

name, and they usually call themselves a "friend". Wonderful :) By the way,

talking about me behind my back says nothing about my character, but 

everything about yours! thinks that it is stupid to live your life based on 

what others think, cause then you can never be happy, cause nothing will 

be your choice, what soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals!!

 

 

Happy Birthday To You

I wish happy birthday to you and good luck with the rest of this year to make it 

best on yourself, i wish i cloud be there as it plan the way before but unfortunately 

we not together anymore and probably it will be awkward if i were there.. right?! 

hahaha...

So happy birthday Siti Hajar :D

Answer

Sometimes one feels so alone, I'm having one of those moments, certain 

things in life are like mind over matter, if I don't mind... I don't matter at all! 

Humility is when you tell the truth about yourself. Humiliation is when someone 

else does it for you. I don't care where the hell I'll go, as long as I'm with my 

dreams and hope to build it and I know its not now.

Ever since what happen to me, with all the big tragic in my life I finally 

get it together even so not doing so well but it there already, hanging by

the moment is the toughness thing to do and the last thing you know its 

over. I thinks if you're not living on the edge you are taking up too much

space. ...I am the man I am today because of all my past mistakes.

It is my attitude more than my aptitude that determines my altitude.

Why do the ones we care about so dearly hurt us so much? I try to be forgiving 

& understanding & people think its an invite 2 take advantage. LIVE to satisfy , 

LIFE without condition, LOVE wildly! Pursue happiness with hope for a brighter 

tomorrow and for that I'll never give up!

Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than 

your own, people never learn anything from being told, they have to find out 

for themselves. Well pretty much its kinda hurts you a lots... Part of system on

your brain might say you are crazy but differently you're not but I am... Go for 

what you want in life, don't hold back, this is not a dress rehearsal, you won't 

get another chance. 

Happiness is simple, cherish the ones that make you happy and get rid 

of the ones that don't. Simple as that! The answer still be need for those 

who wants it and I still wait for mine...

  

Jason Mraz - Pagkatapos & Hapon

Hubad ko sa aking sarili balo, mailap at hindi pinag-aralan
Dreams na bahagya kalabitin ang aming complexions truest faults
Kung sapat na silid para sa parehong aking antok espiritu ay dapat mahulog
Bold alon oh magpabali-baligtad na ang panahon ng aking puso

At ikaw ay naapi ang aking pananampalataya at ang aking tiwala
Hanggang ang lahat ay nawala sa kagandahan ng araw
Hanggang ang lahat ay nawala, hanggang sa ang lahat ay nawala

Subalit mayroong isang bagay sa paraan ng tawa mo
At ito ay gumagawa ako pakiramdam tulad ng isang bata
Aspeto ng buhay nila ako malito
Ikaw at ang iyong sanaysay pasayahin ako

Oh, at pagkatapos hapon sa inyo
At ang iyong mga mayaman kayumanggi mata
Ang iyong mga labi at maitim na buhok

Elbows at nakalabas na tuhod papunta sa paghuhugas ng kisame
Pagkatapos ng pagkatapos, pagkatapos ng pagkatapos, pagkatapos ng isang hapon
Pagkatapos ng pagkatapos, pagkatapos ng isang hapon sa inyo

Mukha sa palad, luha sa luha
Mouth sa wika, puso sa lupa
Heart sa lupa, puso sa lupa
Kasama ko sa pag-ibig